A man’s 101 guide to smelling and feeling superb: your home
Your journey towards a fantastic smelling home starts today, my friend.
You’ll learn how to identify the source of bad smells, and eliminate them quickly and easily. Then I’ll show you how to replace them with manly scents and fragrances you and your visitors will love.
And it should, be my reckoning, cost you no more than £40 all in.
Enough with the preamble. Get ready to. . .
1) IDENTIFY the sources of bad smells
Look round your home, and you’ll soon spot the places that unpleasant odours emanate from.
- shoes, boots, and trainers – often abandoned in your hall or entrance area, they can be the first niffs that greet your visitors. (This used to be me, I’ll admit it)
- kitchen bins – left full and uncleaned, they’ll make your home stink like a student flat
- bathroom – old shower curtains and blinds can smell damp and manky, let alone dirty toilets and sinks
- old food and drink – used plates and mugs are major culprits. A particular danger if you work from home at the moment, as I do most days
- dirty laundry – piled in a basket (or worse still a heap), it’ll soon fester – especially your sports kit. If mine stays there longer than a day, frankly it’s safer to burn the lot
- furniture, carpets, and upholstery – they hold stale odours like you wouldn’t believe
- nasty chemical air fresheners – these can make your pad smell worse not better. And the toxins in them can’t be healthy either
JC top tip: as everybody’s home is different, it pays to be creative about this stage.
For example, I’m a keen cross country runner. This means my dirty trainers are, without overstating it too much, a genuine biohazard. In the house I’m renovating, I’ve made the garage and not the porch my way in after my off-road adventures. Far more pleasant for visitors, as I’m sure you can imagine.
2) ELIMINATE the problems
Now you know where these nasty smells come from, it’s time to get rid of them forever.
Start by opening all of your windows. Better already? Thought as much.
Keep your windows open whenever practical, including in your bedroom at night. Fresh air will do your home and your health all manner of good. I always sleep better when I leave the windows slightly open, even during the depths of winter.
And I’d like you to meet your new best friend – bicarbonate of soda. My sister introduced me to this wonder stuff recently and I’ve never looked back. Bicarb is cheap AF, you can buy it anywhere, and you can clean anything with it. (When I’m restoring old furniture, for example, I use bicarb paste on badly-tarnished brass.)
There are many eco-friendly cleaning products you can use round the house too. Better still, save yourself a stack of cash and make your own. You’ll only need white vinegar and water. I’ll give you the link at the end.
Your tasks then are as follows:
- put bicarb in your boots, shoes and trainers – and leave it in overnight
- make sure you empty your kitchen bin daily – both recycling and general waste. For bonus sustainability points, start composting. You can even use coffee grinds in some amazing ways too (see below)
- clean your bathroom thoroughly – and buy a new shower curtain and/or blinds, if you need to
- wash your grubby clothes as soon as you can – you know this. So do it please
- use bicarb on furniture, carpets and upholstery to shift stubborn smells. YouTube is full of handy hacks
- wipe down every wipeable surface – with eco-friendly spray or DIY cleaning spray
JC top tip: if you don’t have one already, hire a decent cleaner. Right away.
For about £25 a week they’ll save you time, energy, and make your place look and smell ace. Plus you’ll be giving a local small business valuable custom. Trust me, it’s a game-changer. My cleaners are ace. These two ladies get more done in two hours than I’d manage in six, and make my place sparkle and shine. Plus they tell me in no uncertain terms when I need a hair or beard trim. Perfect!
3) REPLACE with fantastic smells and fragrances
After you’ve cleaned your home and banished those bad odours, it’s time to make it smell superb. With three candles that you can buy in our very own online shop. Fancy that! They are…
Directions: Light this in your living room.
This woody and spicy candle is warm, manly, and luxurious. The scents are sandalwood (which you’ll find in most top end aftershaves), mixed with black pepper and some citrus too.
Get yours here.
Directions: Light this in your kitchen. Also perfect on patios and balconies when it’s, um, raining.
This candle was inspired by that incredible smell of summer rain after a long dry period (or “petrichor”, to use its rightful name). The scents are freshly cut grass and green leaves.
Get yours here.
Directions: Light this in your bedroom.
Golden Hour is perfect for relaxing before bed, and will have you dreaming of your favourite holiday sunsets. The scents are nutmeg, sea salt, and a drop of patchouli. Price: £12.
Get yours here.
JC top tip: don’t just use scented candles at night.
Up until recently, I thought scented candles were a night time thing. Turns out I was way off the mark. Lighting candles during the day can really help you chill out, and will make your place smell brilliant too.
OK. Let’s recap shall we?
- IDENTIFIED the source of all nasty smells in your home
- ELIMINATED them using cheap and natural products (and hopefully hired a cleaner)
- REPLACED them with superb manly scents that will make your home calm, inviting, and attractive to your guests
Zero to hero, as they say, for about £40 and a few hours’ work. Well done, you big hero.
Now your home smells fresh and fantastic, let’s make sure you do too. All will be revealed in my next blog post. Until then!
My first post in case you missed it: A Man’s 101 Guide to smelling and feeling superb: Introduction
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